N's Mild Ride
by Haberdashing
Summary: TPP Black. N chats with Jimmy during their repeated rides of the Nimbasa Ferris wheel.


"You're looking for Team Plasma, right? They ran into the amusement park. Come with me."

N grabbed Jimmy's hand and ran with him to the Ferris wheel at the far end of the Nimbasa amusement park.

"They're not here. Let's ride the Ferris wheel and see if we can spot them."

Jimmy started twitching more violently than he normally did as he tried and failed to escape N's grasp. The hand-holding had started out casual, but now his grip was tight, growing more forceful the more he struggled to get away.

N rambled on about Ferris wheels, but Jimmy could barely hear the words over the screams in his head. The voices were particularly excited about this meeting- _WE LOVE YOU N-SENPAI!_ \- and the constant noise distracted Jimmy so much that he barely noticed himself entering the Ferris wheel.

"I am the king of Team Plasma."

This was supposed to be a surprise, wasn't it? Maybe it would have been normally, if Jimmy had been a normal kid who just happened to stumble into N and his ramblings. But the voices had been telling him, in their own unique way, about N's allegiances even before the two got to meet in person. Team Plasma was one of their favorite topics to rant about. Team Plasma, which was slowly taking over all of Unova. Team Plasma, which wanted to release Pokemon from their Trainers… just like…

"Ghetsis asked me to work with him to save the Pokemon."

Jimmy was startled back from his reverie and saw that N was staring into his eyes with an unblinking gaze, his face a bit too close, his eyes a bit too bright. N had released his hand, he noted distantly. The voices didn't seem to care for Team Plasma much, despite their love for N.

Was what Team Plasma was doing really saving the Pokemon? Jimmy's mind wandered as he considered his own experiences over the past few days. The battles never ended, it seemed, and the voices made his Pokemon fight over and over to the point of collapse, then go right back for more after every healing session. And some of those very Pokemon they'd pushed to the limits were abandoned, without their hard work being acknowledged, without so much as a goodbye… Maybe N was right. Maybe Team Plasma had the right idea about what it takes to save Pokemon.

While lost in contemplation, the Ferris wheel screeched to a half, and Jimmy mechanically stepped outside. Two Team Plasma members ran towards the pair, and N directed his words to them initially while still facing Jimmy.

Finally, as the two Team Plasma members started to run away, N focused on Jimmy once more.

"Do you understand my logic?"

Jimmy shook his head.

"So that's how it is. How unfortunate. Then… The future I envision… Perhaps I can't beat you here and now, but I'll battle you anyway."

The Ferris wheel ride had seemed to drag on forever; the battle was over in a flash. Though N pretended to lack confidence in the chances of his own victory, Jimmy had lost quickly and easily, the voices giving inane commands that he was powerless to resist. N raised an eyebrow as Jimmy fell to the ground.

Right after healing, the voices sent Jimmy back to the amusement park without a moment of pause. Another time they wouldn't let his poor Pokemon pause for rest, Jimmy noted dully. N was waiting at the entrance for him, though he couldn't imagine why- the charade had been broken, and the Plasma members had made their retreat. What was left for him to do here?

N grabbed his hand again, even tighter than before. "You're still looking for Team Plasma? Come with me, we need to talk." His speech was garbled, even more rushed than usual, and Jimmy panted for breath as the two raced to the Ferris wheel's entrance.

"Go on, Jimmy. I'm interested in saying what _you_ have to say."

Jimmy gulped. "So… Team Plasma, huh?" It was a stupid thing to say, and he regretted saying it instantly, but he wasn't sure what else there was to ask. He had so many questions that he wasn't sure where to begin, and the constant shouts of devotion to "N-senpai" that filled his mind certainly wasn't helping his focus.

"That's right, I'm the king of Team Plasma." There was that term again, king. Not leader, king. Jimmy wasn't quite sure what made the distinction so important, but he felt certain that it was. "And I think that you understand my logic more than you let on. Tell me, what happened to that Tepig you used when we first met? I didn't see it in our latest battle…"

"I…" N knew the answer already, didn't he? That's what the smug smile on his face seemed to suggest. But it was hard to say the words N so wanted to hear, not only because the voices resisted his every movement but because they were a confession he'd rather not have to make. "Gone. He's gone. Released him."

"I thought so!" N laughed, the laughter echoing through the small glass box and drowning out the sound of the voices. The laughter wasn't a sound Jimmy particularly preferred- at least he'd grown accustomed to the chatter of the voices- and he felt a strange relief when the laughter finally died down. "See, you understand. I released the Purrloin I used that day. I didn't want it to have to fight, have to _suffer_ , any further."

"No!" Jimmy hadn't meant to shout the word, but it had left his mouth so effortlessly, before he even realized what he was shouting. "It's not like that, not like _you!_ Tepig was… no, Tepig is…" And then the force that had guided Jimmy's words fell away, and his voice trailed off into nothingness, soon replaced by the screech of the Ferris wheel's brakes.

"Shall we battle again? It seems only right, and I do believe those two are expecting it." N gestured to one side, where the two Plasma members from before were leaning against a wall and giving N a thumbs-up. The escapees seemed more concerned with protecting their leader- no, their king, whatever that meant- than with their own safety.

For somebody who claimed that he was battling just to stall for time, who avoided bonding with his Pokemon, who thought that the very idea of Trainers owning Pokemon was wrong, N was surprisingly skilled in battle. Jimmy lost again, as easily as the first time.

And, just like before, he was led back to the amusement park without hesitation.

N didn't bother saying anything or even holding Jimmy's hand this time. The two walked side by side, an awkward silence surrounding them both, until entering the Ferris wheel once more.

"Where were we? Oh, yes, your Tepig. You released it, but not because you thought it deserved a break from battle, is that right? Then why, praytell, did you release him? What other cause do you have for such an action?"

"It's… Look, can we not talk about my Tepig?"

"It's a rough subject for you, I see. You're not proud of having released him- changed your mind after the fact, I suppose. How _interesting._ "

"I said, let's talk about something else."

"Very well. I just want to know why you keep pursuing Team Plasma. What reason do you have for being so against us? You're a Trainer, yes, but so are many others who don't go after us. Why are you so different, so… _special_?"

 _Special_. The word resounded through Jimmy's mind. That's all he'd ever wanted to be, special… and yet that dream had gone awry somewhere along the way. He wasn't quite sure what did make him special, anyway. The voices could have chosen anybody, anybody at all, so why was he the one stuck getting badges and saving the world and… and releasing Pokemon…

"I don't know." It wasn't a lie. "Just am, I guess."

"Well, there has to be some logic behind it- even the most illogical things in this world have a sort of logic to them, a pattern hidden in the chaos, a rhythm to be found even in the deepest depths of anarchy. I have some ideas of wh-"

The Ferris wheel screeched to a halt.

"Never mind. We can discuss this more next time."

And N had a reason for his smug smile- Jimmy lost his battle once again, even faster than before. There would indeed be a next time.

Their walk to the Ferris wheel became a sprint.

N started talking the moment they entered the Ferris wheel.

"Jimmy, did you really want to release your Tepig?"

"…what? Why do… what do you…?" Jimmy's eyes wandered to the ground. It was growing dark now, and the lights of the city below were starting to blink on.

"I didn't think so." N's smile grew wider."But it wasn't your choice, now, was it? None of this was. If the only voice you listened to was your own, you'd never have left home, I imagine."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jimmy." N sat down on the floor, casting his eyes upwards rather than downwards to look at Jimmy, bringing himself into Jimmy's line of sight. "You can tell me everything. I'm not the bad guy they think I am, I can promise you that much. And I know more about you, about all of this, than you think. Just answer this much for me. Jimmy, are you hearing voices?"

Jimmy's eyelid started frantically twitching, and his hands started to shake. He tried to look somewhere, anywhere, as long as it wasn't at N, but found himself unable to avert his gaze. "I'm not crazy." he whimpered.

"I never said you were crazy. You are answering different questions than the ones I'm asking, which is rather rude of you." The irony of the boy who kept staring at him, talking over him, dragging him places, calling him the rude one did not escape Jimmy's mind. "But I thought as much. The twitching, the constant movement- and oh, you've excelled as a Trainer, of course. It's all too obvious, at least if you know what to look for…"

"You know about the voices?"

"Know about them?" N's laugh made Jimmy's skin crawl. "You could certainly say that."

The Ferris wheel stopped, and the doors opened.

"I do wish we could chat longer, but I would imagine they're expecting us to battle again." He didn't gesture towards the Team Plasma members this time, though the two remained propped up against the wall. Jimmy felt that, this time, N had a rather different _they_ in mind.

"…yeah."

"Very well."

Jimmy lost the battle once again. The voices were growing impatient; though many of them still proclaimed their love of N, others said that they had to move on, try something else before they got stuck in a never-ending loop of losses. The first group won out this time, and Jimmy went back to the Ferris wheel once more.

"So they came for me. Just like they came for Giovanni, I suppose- no, like they came for Red. They can't leave well enough alone."

"I don't know why-"

"I know you don't." N sighed. "I doubt they've told you anything."

"About what?"

Another sigh. "Of course. I should have guessed as much… You probably don't even remember me, do you? Just another name, nothing to care about?"

Jimmy nervously laughed and tapped his foot against the ground. "But N-"

"I'm not talking to you, Jimmy." His voice was sharp and cold now, not the lyrical rambling of rides past. He cleared his throat before continuing. "You ruined my life. You made me complicit- made me a _killer_ \- and for what?" N pounded against the glass wall, and Jimmy's heart skipped a beat as he worried that it would break. "For you to move on to the next victim? For more suffering, more bloodshed? When will it all end?"

"N!"

N closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, and backed away. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, Jimmy. And I'm sorry you have to go through all this. But you understand the beauty of our plans now, right? You understand why Team Plasma is the only way out?"

"…no."

"Well then." N rolled his eyes, and Jimmy's cheeks burned red. "They only come to work with Pokemon, don't they? So if we release them all, they'll have no purpose here. We'll all be safe, Pokemon and people alike. That's what I've been fighting for all my life. So, Jimmy. Are you ready to fight the good fight?"

"…I don't know what to say."

"Say yes. Join me, and we can ensure that nobody else has to fall victim to the voices again."

Jimmy looked back and forth, paralyzed by the voices in his head. More were calling for N to be beaten than called for spending more time with N now. He tried to step forward, to extend his hand, but… nothing. "I can't. I'm sorry."

N looked him up and down before giving a terse nod. "I understand. I apologize for putting you in this situation." The doors opened. "Right on time! Our cue comes at last. Let's see if they've figured it out at last."

Jimmy and the voices almost won the battle this time. Almost. But it ended with the same victor as always. N wasn't smiling as he slumped to the floor this time, though. His eyes were clouded over and he looked into the distance, his focus no longer on Jimmy's efforts.

Jimmy expected another immediate trip to the amusement park, but after a brief discussion, he was led elsewhere. The voices wanted to do something else, it seemed; they were sick of N, sick of the battles, sick of the Ferris wheel rides.

They had heard enough.


End file.
